


The Sorcery Cook Book

by yhlee (etothey)



Category: Steve Jackson's Sorcery! - Steve Jackson
Genre: Gen, Recipes, Worldbuilding, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-02
Updated: 2014-12-02
Packaged: 2018-02-27 20:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2705837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etothey/pseuds/yhlee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And after the Adventurer recovered from the well-known journey to the Mampang Fortress, their longing for travel-fare both strange and humble started an entirely new adventure...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sorcery Cook Book

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wasuremono](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wasuremono/gifts).



_And after the Adventurer recovered from the well-known journey to the Mampang Fortress, their longing for travel-fare both strange and humble started an entirely new adventure..._

**Jerked Serpentpit Jerky**

\- one pit-trap's worth of slain serpent, skinned, with skeletons and venom-glands removed  
\- optional spices and flavors, such as black pepper, Blimberries, or smoked paprika

_There is no explanation given for the redundancy of this recipe's name. A hint may be found, however, in a scrawled note in the margin of the original manuscript. Apparently there is a legend that Adventurer slew the Archmage's Time Serpent by rending its head from its body in a single jerk. It is, of course, unlikely that an accomplished sorcerer would resort to such means except in case of emergency._

Pound the serpent meat thin, making sure the working area is clean. (In the Baklands one must make especially sure of this. Mischievous vortices of whirling air have been known to spread dust everywhere they go.) Season with salt; for the epicure, the salt from the Daddu-Ley mines best complements the flavor of serpent. Season as well with peppercorns or, for an especially revitalizing variant, Blimberries, if desired. Spread in the sun and allow to dry well.

Please beware of pit-traps in general, especially if you have already prayed to Libra recently. _A note in the margin has been scribbled out, but appears to speak, in vehement terms, about unbelievers who give up the fair goddess for heathen gods such as Courga._

If you are in a hurry, HOT may be employed. The wise sorcerer will realize that aiming the fireball directly at the serpent meat is suboptimal. Rather, a roasting apparatus should be set up and the fireball's point of impact aimed such that the heat will scorch the meat dry immediately without burning. Based on the experments of the Grand Wizards of Analand, the fireball produces a certain amount of heat, and for best results, the fireball's point of impact should be 59 inches from the roasting pan.

_Interestingly, notes have been added to the page suggesting that at some point the Adventurer took on an outcast Red-Eye as a traveling companion and apprentice cook, and that this Red-Eye's heat vision provided a less extravagant means of preparing this dish._

**Grits**

After being dismayed by the terrible grits I was served in the Mampang Fortress, I was most surprised when I chanced to meet a fellow traveler in the Forest of the Snatta who claimed it was a matter of finding the right preparation. Said traveler was from a distant port called Nola, which I have never been able to find, but I memorized their recipe and they were right: proper grits can indeed be delicious.

_There are several sketched maps stuffed between the pages. It appears that the Adventurer was hoping to discover the location of Nola--perhaps thinking that it might be the source of other fine recipes--but it is not recorded whether they ever succeeded._

\- 2 cups water  
\- 2 cups cream  
\- 1 cup grits  
\- 1/2 pound butter  
\- 1 tablespoon salt  
\- 1 ear grilled corn kernels

Bring the liquids to a boil. Stir in the grits a little at a time. Do _not_ follow the Hobgoblin practice of dumping the grits in all at once and then wandering off! The stirring is essential to keep the grits from clumping. Add the butter and cook at a simmer until the mixture thickens. At the end, stir in the corn.

For extra decadence, you can add grated cheese, although Gloister is definitely not recommended as it will ruin the experience. Actually, it might be argued that Gloister ruins just about everything.

This dish is especially excellent served with a delicacy from the Kakhabad Sea known as "shrimp." Despite their dubious insectile appearance, they are quite tasty. 

**Hillfox Soup**

\- 2 1/2 pounds of Hillfox bones  
\- 2 pounds of Hillfox meat  
\- water  
\- 1 Cantopani Radish  
\- onion  
\- green onions  
\- salt  
\- black ground pepper  
\- sesame oil

Soak the bones and the meat in cold water for 20 minutes to remove any blood. Rinse the bones in cold water to remove any bone chips. You can cast fortunes with the bones, as the Cantopani do, but remember that fox bones like to lie. At best, they are telling riddles. Of course, this is an excellent way to get in practice for any Encounters you may have of the intellectual kind. _Arithmetic tables have been scribbled in the margins._

Boil 3 1/2 quarts of water in a large pot. Put the bones and meat in the pot and boil for about 10 minutes. Remove from heat and take out the bones and meat. Discard the water. Rinse and drain the meat in cold water to remove the excess fat.

Clean the pot (a practice that many Baklanders are unfamiliar with--could the lack of hygiene explain the high prevalence of disease? surely it can't all be the close living quarters) and return the bones and meat to the pot. Add 3 quarts of water, 1 onion, and 1 1/2 pounds of Radish to the pot. Bring to a boil, then simmer for about 3 hours.

Remove from the heat and take the meat and Radish out of the pot. Put the meat and Radish into a bowl.

Pour the broth out of the pot and into a large bowl. Repeat the process of boiling the bones to create more broth to collect. If you have a sufficiently large pot, you can instead keep boiling the bones and adding water, but you may alarm any passing Adventurers who think that they are intended for the pot. (Not that I would be bitter.) In any case, the resulting broth will be a thin, opaque white.

Slice the cooked meat thinly and cut the Radish into 1/4"-thick slices. Add to bowls and serve along with rice, chopped green onions, minced garlic, salt, and ground black pepper.

**Skunkbear Stew**

\- 4 slices Birritanti bacon, cut into small pieces  
\- 2 1/2 pounds boneless Skunkbear, glands removed first and discarded, then the remaining meat cut into 2-inch pieces (yes, you want to do it in this order, make _absolutely certain_ that your butcher understands this point if you are not handling matters yourself)  
\- 1 teaspoon salt  
\- black pepper to taste  
\- 2 onions, coarsely chopped  
\- 1/2 teaspoon salt  
\- 4 cloves garlic, minced  
\- a pint of Birritanti beer (or Kristatanti beer, if you _must_ , but their ale is better than their beer)  
\- 1/4 cup Tamatfruit paste  
\- 4 sprigs fresh thyme  
\- 3 carrots, cut into 1-inch pieces  
\- 2 stalks celery, cut into 1-inch pieces  
\- 1 teaspoon honey  
\- 2 1/2 cups Skunkbear stock (venison or beef will do if you are pressed)

Cook and stir the bacon in a heavy skillet until it is brown and crisp. Transfer the bacon to a large stew pot, reserving the bacon fat in the skillet. This should go without saying, for something as useful and tasty as bacon fat, but I have known certain Elvins to discard bacon fat. Can you imagine!

Season the Skunkbear cubes generously with 1 teaspoon of salt and black pepper to taste. Sear the Skunkbear pieces in the bacon fat on both sides until browned. Place the Skunkbear in the stew pot with the bacon. 

IMPORTANT NOTE: If there is _any_ stench at all when the Skunkbear starts to brown, evacuate the premises _immediately_. The stench spreads very quickly and is impossible to remove from hair or clothes. It does seem that HOT or ZAP in conjunction with Skunkbear gland extract may make the basis of an excellent weapon for dispersing crowds--must investigate that later. _It is not known whether the Adventurer ever carried through with this line of thought, although it is rumored that the Analanders are experimenting in this direction._

Cook and stir the onions in the skillet with its bacon fat until they are lightly browned, and season with a large pinch of salt.

Cook the garlic with the onions until soft. Pour the beer into the skillet and stir to dissolve browned bits of food into the liquid. It is acceptable to drink some of the beer in the process. That may be the only thing that makes the stew palatable if the meat has gone off, which happens distressingly quickly where Skunkbear is concerned. Pour the cooking liquid from the skillet into the stew pot. Add the Tamatfruit paste, thyme sprigs, carrots, celery, sugar, 1/2 teaspoon black pepper, and Skunkbear stock.

Bring the stew to a simmer, stir, and cover the pot. Simmer until the Skunkbear is tender, stirring occasionally and skimming the foam. Then bring the stew to a low boil and cook until it has thickened. Remove the thyme sprigs and add salt and pepper to taste, if needed.

**Bristle-Beast Kidneys**

\- 8 fresh bristle-beast kidneys, rinsed and outer membranes removed. Better have the butcher get you the kidneys, while you're at it, as the bristles are quite annoying to get past and the scars are quite unlovely. _A later amendment remarks that, with practice, a Red-Eye can burn off the bristles, but this is an exhausting endeavor best reserved for emergencies._  
\- 1 1/2 tablespoons butter  
\- 1 large onion, thinly sliced  
\- 1 clove garlic, minced  
\- 1 cup white wine, of Gallantarian vintage if you can get it  
\- 2 teaspoons Tamatfruit paste  
\- 2 1/2 tablespoons heavy cream

Make a slice the long way partly through the back of each kidney and spread it, cut side down, onto a cutting board. With a sharp knife, spread as much meat off each side of the kidney as possible and discard the ducts. Repeat with each kidney.

Heat the butter in a large skillet and cook and stir the onion and garlic until the onion is soft and translucent. Pour about 1/4 cup of white wine into the onion mixture, lower the heat, and stir to scrape up and dissolve the flavor from the bottom of the skillet. Place the kidneys in the skillet and simmer until tender. Turn the kidneys over about halfway through cooking. As the wine reduces, add more, about 1/4 cup at a time.

When the kidneys are no longer pink and the wine has reduced, stir in Tamatfruit paste until well combined. Serve hot with cream drizzled over each serving.

This dish is much prized in the Baklands because of the difficulty of obtaining a bristle-beast. Certain Goblin tribes eat a cruder version of this recipe for their adulthood rites, making jewelry of the bristles. Well, what Goblins consider jewelry.

**Sautéed Pilfer Grass**

\- two generous bundles of pilfer grass. The tender sprouts of early spring are the best, and as always, exercise great care in gathering lest you lose your prized Artifacts! Somewhere in a lush meadow of Pilfer Grass is my favorite Bamboo Flute. I bought a new one in Dhumpus, but it's not the same.  
\- 1 tablespoon Hillfox broth  
\- 1/2 teaspoon vinegar  
\- 1/2 teaspoon salt  
\- 1 teaspoon minced green onion  
\- 1/2 teaspon minced garlic  
\- 1/2 tablespoon sesame seed  
\- 2 teaspoons sesame oil

Wash the pilfer grass and trim any blemishes. Blanch in boiling water (this will keep it from continuing to try to pickpocket you as you cook), then plunge into cold water to halt cooking. Alternately, an Ice Jewel may be used; Libra knows, they don't have any other use. (Honest use, anyway.) Squeeze out the water.

Heat the sesame oil in a skillet. Fry the garlic for a minute, then add the pilfer grass, and remove the skillet from the heat. Season with the salt and sesame seeds and toss the mixture. Let the pilfer grass sit for ten minutes to absorb the flavors.

_A later note muses that the Red-Eye has ventured the hypothesis that ingesting this side dish, delicious as it is, leads to larcenous thoughts, but the Adventurer points out that it is difficult to get any more larcenous than any effective Adventurer already is in the course of Adventures._

**Svinn Bread**

\- 1 tablespoon dry yeast  
\- 1 teaspoon sugar  
\- 1 cup warm milk  
\- 4 cups flour  
\- 2/3 cups sugar  
\- 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon  
\- 1/4 teaspoons ground nutmeg  
\- 1/2 teaspoons salt  
\- 2 tablespoons butter  
\- 1 egg  
\- 2 cups chopped dried Bomba

Mix in a small bowl and let foam the yeast, 1 teaspoon sugar, and milk. Mix in a large bowl the flour, 2/3 cups sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt. Cut in the butter, then add the yeast mixture and the egg, beaten. Stir until the batter is stiff but can still be worked. Fold in the currants.

Knead gently on a floured board. Place in a greased bowl, turning the greased side up. Cover with a cloth and leave in a warm place for several hours until the dough has doubled. Punch down and divide into two portions. Shape into round loaves and place on a large greased baking sheet or in two round pans. Cover again and let rise for about half an hour. Bake for about three quarters of an hour in an oven at the temperature of a Salamander.

Svinn tradition is to hide a Gold Piece inside one of the loaves, which are shared among adolescent Svinns. While this can result in quite a toothache for the lucky (unlucky?) person who bites into that slice, it is believed to appease the Svinn harvest god. All the Svinns I asked were reticent about everything from the god's name to its favored tokens. Discreet investigation revealed that the nourishing, vitalizing effect of the Bomba plus the Svinn prayers muttered during baking tend to encourage activities relating to--how to put this-- _fertility_ , and that the Svinns adolescents especially court the coin-winner in the hopes of engaging in rites to ensure that the year to come will result in a good harvest.

**Bomba Crumble**

\- four to six Bombas (apples may be used as well)  
\- 1 cup flour  
\- 1/2 teaspoon salt  
\- 1 cup dark brown sugar (it is a nuisance to find, even in Kharé, and almost impossible to obtain in the Baklands, but worth it)  
\- 1/2 cup butter  
\- whipped cream

Bring the oven to the temperature of a Salamander. Peel and chop the Bombas, removing the cores. Combine the flour, cinnamon, salt, and butter (softened or melted) with your fingers until it resembles crumbs rather than dough. Keep adding flour until the texture is right. Scatter the crust over the fruit. Bake for about 35 minutes. Serve warm, with whipped cream.

Care should be taken not to feed Bomba Crumble to small children close to bedtime, as it tends to make them even more hyperactive than ordinary sweets.

**Black Lotus Tea**

This is a notorious poison and no honest Adventurer would stoop to its use.

_The Cookbook ends, abruptly, here._

_These notes were found in a backpack stolen from a Red-Eye in an altercation just outside Kharé._

**Author's Note:**

> Note: The Bomba Crumble is based on an excellent apple/pear crumble recipe thanks to a friend who will be credited after reveals, and has been included with permission.
> 
> EDITED: Thank you to Rachel Manija Brown for letting me feature her recipe, which can be found here:  
> http://rachelmanija.livejournal.com/548030.html
> 
> She is the one who taught it to me back when I lived in California. Hopefully this will save you some experimenting to figure out the "temperature of a Salamander"!
> 
> The other recipes have been modified from published cookbooks or websites as follows. I make no claims as to the quality of the recipes one way or another!
> 
> \- Bristle-Beast Kidneys is based on Matthew Branch's recipe Ol' Man's Kidneys on allrecipes: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Ol-Mans-Kidneys/Detail.aspx?event8=1&prop24=SR_Thumb&e11=kidneys&e8=Quick%20Search&event10=1&e7=Recipe%20Hub&soid=sr_results_p1i4  
> \- Grits is basically the Zea Grits recipe: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/zea-grits-recipe.html  
> \- Hillfox Soup is based on Maangchi's recipe for Korean ox-bone soup: http://www.maangchi.com/recipe/ox-bone-soup  
> \- Sautéed Pilfer Grass is based on a recipe for shigeumchi-nameul (Korean blanched and seasoned spinach) from The Institute of Traditional Korean Food's _The Beauty of Korean Food: With 100 Best-Loved Recipes_, ISBN 978-56591-253-3, p. 149 (you'd want to use soy sauce instead of "Hillfox broth" and vinegar)  
> \- Skunkbear Stew is based on Beef and Guiness Stew by Chef John from allrecipes: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Beef-and-Guinness-Stew/Detail.aspx?evt19=1  
> \- Svinn bread is based on Raisin Bread (Barm Brack) from _Extending the Table_ by Joetta Handrich Schlabach, ISBN 0-8361-3561-X, p. 66
> 
> The Jerked Serpentpit Jerky, by the way, is pure fiction. Please don't try that one at home, or anywhere.


End file.
